The Dead Next Door

Oh the humanity of it all...my wife just told me that not only am I snoring like a bloody freight train every night, now I've begun moaning! Not like I'm in the throes of passion, mind you, but like a Return of the Living Dead zombie craving brains. The worst part is that our neighbor's bedroom is right next to our living room and the walls ain't thick (we could hear the previous tenants shagging like we were sitting on their bed). So not only do they hear my kids screaming at 6 am every morning, they hear me snoring and moaning all night. I'm begging my wife to swap sleeping spaces tonight...